Yakmala: After Earth

Aw, don’t look so sad, Smiths! The L.A. Weekly, my local free paper, ran a cover story in its most recent issue about how the new internet journalism destroyed Tom Cruise, our last remaining movie star. While reading, all I could think is, “What about Will Smith?” He has as...

Lifetime Theater: Death...

The Lifetime brand has never been known for subtlety. While this statement reeks of film geek snobbery, it’s not intended as an insult. I firmly believe that this lack of nuance is built right into the business model. While there is a certain subset of people who will sit down and watch...

Now Fear This: Bad Milo...

He doesn’t skateboard. That’s artistic license. As it turns out, we humans are really obsessed with our junk. Most horror movies have a readily made Freudian interpretation about the importance or muddling of gender roles. The classic reading of slasher movies goes like this:...

Girls, Guns, and G-Stri...

She never actually uses that crossbow. Cast: Enemy Gold (1993) features some of the same performers as previous entries in the series, but they’re all playing new characters. It’s also the first one written and directed by Andy’s son (and frequent cameo haver) Drew Sidaris. So...

Yakmala: A Nightmare on...

“The man of your dreams is back,” and they’re referring to the protagonist here. The dude. I’m not the kind of guy who uses “gay” as a pejorative. I am the kind of guy who uses “unintentionally gay” as one. The ‘80s were an extremely homophobic decade, which probably...