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Yakmala: Fateful Findin...

Breen is just so mad at laptops. Neil Breen looks like if jaded scientists decided to turn the phrase “fuck it” into a human being. A man with the charisma and appearance of a damp pile of peach-colored towels, Breen has become a reliable presence in outsider art, producing a...

Lifetime Theater: Kept ...

Weird stuff enters the zeitgeist. The way a single year might feature two killer asteroid movies, or everyone becomes obsessed with furry owl poop that talks. You can’t predict it. Not too long ago, I got around to seeing Room, a movie I initially confused with one of my favorites. I...

Now Fear This: The Witc...

That, friends, is some stunning yonic imagery. One generation’s bogeyman is the next generation’s punchline. What we find frightening in movies, books, and stories has to do with the concerns of the day. This is why periods of anti-communist hysteria produced films about...

Liner Notes

Did you know I’m an author? Seriously. I have eleven books you can go out right now and buy, and the next one is due on Halloween. Crazy, right? Whenever a new one comes out, I like to share the thought process behind it, sort of like those liner notes from albums when the guys in the...

Yakmala: Pink Force Com...

Admit it. You kind of want to see it now. Holy shit, did you know dreams are real? Not like, “Hey, I had this dream, and it happened,” and you’re all, “Please don’t tell me another one about you eating nachos with Margot Robbie.” No, I mean somehow, in China, someone...

Lifetime Theater: The T...

“I’m in what?” My first clue should have been that The Tall Man wasn’t shot in the same nouveau-riche Vancouver suburb where every other Lifetime movie takes place. The second was that it wasn’t lit like a telenovela, and the credit sequence was a bunch of needlessly...

Now Fear This: The Midn...

“It’s not as good as the book” is the most consistently leveled piece of criticism on any movie based on a book. There’s a very good reason for this. Books let you get into the inner life of characters, narration is a necessity rather than a crutch, and they have as much time as...

Yakmala: The Vampire Ra...

I’m guessing the Red Ninja is the queen? Vampires are a lot like the ketchup of genre fiction: people think you can add them to anything and you have a brand new taste sensation. Occasionally, though, you get something so insane the script had to have been scraped off the walls...